


11:11

by fvnwithgvns



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Death, I hate myself, M/M, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 04:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13710021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvnwithgvns/pseuds/fvnwithgvns
Summary: major trigger warning. I'm sorry.xoalex





	11:11

**Author's Note:**

> major trigger warning. I'm sorry.  
> xoalex

_ 11:11, make a wish! _

 

_ I wish I was smaller.  _

 

Awsten had been a chubby kid. He knew this; he’d been told his entire life he was too fat. From bullies on the playground chanting “fatass” to his mother suggesting he “not have that piece of cake,” everyone told him one way or another. 

 

So he wished to be smaller, he closed his eyes and crossed his fingers. 

 

_ 11:11, make a wish! _

 

_ I wish I was skinny. _

 

The diet was going well, but not well enough. As 160 became 150 became 140 he still wasn’t happy. He needed to be small, not just small, but skinny. So he cut his calories, 2000 became 1500 became 1000 became 500. But it still wasn’t enough. 

 

_ 11:11, make a wish! _

 

_ I wish I was good enough. _

 

After all, that was all he’d ever wanted. To be a good enough son, a good enough brother, a good enough friend. Good enough for Geoff. Good enough to deserve food, to deserve happiness, to deserve love. But he’d never be. He couldn’t be when he was still fat.

 

_ 11:11, make a wish! _

 

_ I wish I was happy. _

 

He should have been happy. 103 was flashing on the scale but it still wasn’t enough. He had Geoff now, he had people telling him how skinny he’s gotten. He refused to hear the concern in their voices. They’re just jealous. 

 

The first time him and Geoff have sex should have made him happy. Instead he focused on sucking in his stomach and not letting tears fall from his eyes as Geoff kissed him and told him he was beautiful but “it’s not healthy, Awsten, you’re not healthy and it’s killing me.” 

 

_ 11:11, make a wish! _

 

_ I wish I was dead.  _

 

Awsten got his wish at 11:11 the next day.


End file.
